Cream Eggs

The other day, I was shopping and noticed a Back To School catalogue.

Today is July 2, several days after that trip.

In other words, Back To School was being advertised in late June. At least three weeks before kids finish school for the summer, and over two months before they go back.

I understand that supermarkets are competing with one another to try and get the best sales. I also realise that a lot of people like to get school items early, so they avoid the last-minute panic (if you’ve ever seen the queues in and out of Laser in early September, you’ll know what I mean).

Nevertheless, is it really necessary to start advertising the Back To School collection now? I mean, back when I was in school, I used to hate how I’d break up for my six week holiday, then go into Woolies a few days later and see the big Back To School signs. I’d think, I’ve spent more than ten months in school, finally broke up for the summer – and you’re already making me feel like September is just a few days away?

If I felt like that, I’m sure others do as well (then again, I’m the person who once ate 20 waffles in a single dinner hour at school, which I doubt many others have). And this was in late July; now, it’s late June. They haven’t even finished and already they’re being reminded about going back. I realise that education is important, but this is how the kids themselves must feel.

It got me thinking about other ways in which shops seem to hype a range of items, long before they become relevant. Many dread going back to school, but this is about days we look forward to.

I used to chortle (which no-one besides Beano and Dandy characters do, incidentally) at how Easter Eggs would be on sale in early January. You know, once the Cream Egg adverts come on TV, I’d think to myself, that’s when you know Easter is coming. Never mind the fact that some years Easter doesn’t come until near the end of April, nor that eggs have no significance in relation to why we celebrate Easter. Hey, I enjoy them, but very few shops sell religious items, even in the final few days before Easter, yet the eggs come out before the new year’s resolutions are broken. (On a related topic, my favourite egg of all-time was the Squegg. No idea why they only ran that for two years.)

That was years ago. Since then, it’s become late December, as the Boxing Day Sales start. Last year, I saw them before Christmas. Before Christmas! We hadn’t even had the chance to enjoy having the selection packs and opening the presents and we’re already being bombarded with “How do you eat yours?”

Speaking of which, Christmas is the biggest offender in this category. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas. In fact, whenever I go to Blackpool I make it a point to visit the all year round Xmas shop (Harte’s, in case you were wondering), just for the spectacle of seeing the colourful lights and singing Santa’s in the middle of May. But, when it comes to hyping up occasions, long before they occur, Christmas is the biggest one for stores.

It usually starts around August. The card shops suddenly put the prices up on wrapping paper. Then, around early September, the odd store or two will start stocking calendars for the following year, and maybe a few cards. Then, within a week, out come the selection packs. Shortly followed by even more cards, and some lights too. By late September, most shops start to resemble full-on displays that would entertain Mrs Claus while she waits for Santa to come home. And yet Christmas is still three months away.

In some ways, the “hype” starts even earlier. Already, the Xmas computer games have been announced, and developers are discussing them in-depth on websites and in magazines. The comedy DVD’s (how many come out each year now?) are being recorded, or have already been recorded, for their usual October-November release. So, the hype begins for some of the best-selling gifts as early as the summer – if not before.

I think that’s why the last few years I’ve come away from Christmas disappointed. Now, to be fair, I am 23 now, so it isn’t like when just getting Screwball Scramble would make a vintage Xmas for me. I’m talking about the spectacle of the day, the things that make the Christmas period special; for all the hype, the day comes and goes, very quickly. Within days, the Boxing Day sales start and the sparkling lights are down. Oh, and the Cream Eggs are out.

This isn’t a complaint. It’s an observation. As I said before, I enjoy Christmas, from hearing the songs everywhere from stores to music channels, to watching the lights get turned on, to wishing on snow each year (and usually being let down); to counting down the candles on the Christmas advent wreath at church.

It’s just that events are hyped so far in advance that, when the day comes, they must be pretty special, otherwise they’re disappointing. And the same goes for “minor” events like Halloween, Valentine’s Day etc. Even Father’s Day; I saw banners over a month before that. In fairness to fathers, that’s hardly to Dads what the World Cup is to football. Although hype increases one’s anticipation, it also increases expectations, and how long you are anticipating it, making it more likely the day itself will be a let-down.

Unfortunately, for numerous reasons (most notably the recession), there’s little chance that shops will lighten up and have a bit of patience (to quote Take That). As stores continue to enter administration, the pressure is on to boost sales, even if it means getting the crackers out while most are still applying sun cream. So, barring a radical change, the trend will continue, and we can expect to soon be buying Christmas cards in July, splashing out on new school stationary in May, and purchasing pumpkins in August. And, of course, opening your first window in an advent calendar to reveal a Cream Egg.