Nothing

For a writer (not to suggest that I am one, not yet anyway), the worst thing you can have is writer’s block. Well, besides a serious illness, but you get the point.

What is writer’s block? It isn’t a Lego piece designed for journalists; it’s when one’s mind goes completely blank, when trying to think up of ideas. It isn’t a terrible thing, but if you’ve got nothing to write about, then, well, you can’t write.

And, right now, that’s how I feel. I’ve hardly sucked the air dry on ideas. Yet, in the last few days, when I’ve tried to think “What can I write my next blog about?”, I have, well, no idea.

I’ve tried to relay my blogs with what’s going on in the world. To an extent. For example, the blog about how stores begin celebrating occasions months before they happen was relevant to the time when it was written, as was the McDonald’s Monopoly piece.

So, let’s see. What’s going on? The main story in the news is the phone hacking scandal. There isn’t much else I could add to this, other than to note that the final edition after 168 years of the so-called “world’s greatest newspaper”, the News Of The World, had huge piles that remained untouched in shops close to where I live. And rightly so.

I enjoy sport – doesn’t everyone – so what’s happening in sport? But I’ve just done a blog on sport, so that’s out.

How about TV and film? Well, there isn’t much to say about this either. Granted, I could point out the typical summer dip on ITV before the X Factor starts, or how people were queuing up for the Harry Potter film premiere several days beforehand in an act that may even top my ill-fated attempt to create a comic book as pointless. (That really did happen, by the way.) But, at the same time, it’s nothing new.

What else is there, then? Celebrities? There are enough gossip columns and online discussions about incredibly minor issues already without me sticking my oar in. So, I didn’t want to resort to that.

The royal family? Well, William and Kate were touring North America at time of writing, but trying to come up with an entertaining blog about that is a teeny weeny bit difficult. (Incidentally, I sometimes watch CBS News, and couldn’t help but notice that they said William and Kate, yet in the UK news we say Kate and William; some even gave the impression that only Kate was on tour. Funny how the press can work.)

So, then, what to write about? And then it hit me: I have nothing, so write about nothing.

That doesn’t mean literally write about nothing, from different expressions to the various translations. Nor does it mean leaving a blank space (although I did it humorous when a man whose name I can’t recall once released a book stating why he supported a particular issue, and left every page in it completely blank. Presumably he had the money to do that.)

My idea was to write about the fact that I have nothing. I’ve seen many blogs that cover a completely insignificant subject. They’re not all bad. I did one myself. But, at the same time, I’ve often wondered, is that really the best you could come up with? Seriously, Audley Harrison worked harder than that when he fought David Haye.

If the best you can come up with for a blog is something totally dull and irrelevant, without blending in anything of interest to the reader, then what’s the point? I would have more respect for them if they just said, “Okay, it’s a bad idea, but that’s all I could think of.” Or, “Sorry, got nothing.”

So, that’s what I have done. Instead of trying to build up a pen nib or a tissue packet as if it’s the next Coca-Cola, and because I genuinely cannot think of anything better at this time to write about, I have decide to straight-up admit that I have absolutely no idea what to write about, and therefore I would write about: nothing.

But don’t worry. My next blog will be about a relevant topic, and will be written only when such a subject comes into my mind. Although I could always do a sequel to this blog, called Something . . .